A Reverent Rejoicing.

As I rejoice and anticipate the joy of a baby coming into our home, I also grieve for this baby and Mom.  My heart aches for the young Mom who is carrying this baby, probably not fulling understanding the impact of birthing and handing this baby over to me.  My heart breaks for her.  She is giving me a part of herself.  She has given this baby life and is handing that life to me.  I am in awe. I know in that moment my heart will grieve for her and rejoice in what the Lord has done.  We will have joy and sorrow.  I will forever care for this baby and this young girl.  She will be in my heart forever. My prayer is that she will know how loved and cared for she is.  My prayer is that she knows her baby is loved. Loved so much. She is loved. Loved so much. 

Do I feel I am fully prepared for the emotions of this?  I know I am not.  I do know that God will carry us through.  He will carry us all through.  I was talking to my oldest daughter the other morning about the cost of adopting, and she put things into perspective for me.  I was expressing my worry about coming up with the money, and she said, "Mom, the money is the easy part." Wow. How true it that. Money is just money.  God will provide.  Counting the cost is not about money, it's about giving our life.  We are giving  of our lifes to raise this precious life.  Our whole family is going to give of ourselves to raise this baby.  We are going to have to rely on God's strength, wisdom, and love to bring him/her up.   God will renew our strength, and we will all have to exchange our own strength for His.  He is able. 

Isaiah 30:15 Your strength will come from settling down in complete dependence on Me. 

Deut. 31:7-8 Be strong-take courage! God is striding ahead of  you. He's right there with you. He won't let you down; he won't leave you.  Don't be intimidated. Don't worry. 

God's Word is so powerful.  His Word is true. As I give Him all my cares, He will give me strength.  I can rely on His promises. 

Happy Anniversary! We're having a baby!

Yep, those are the words I spoke to my husband of 24 years just this week.  It's definitely not words he ever expected to hear at this stage in our life, or words I ever expected to say.  Here is our story:

Last year I began working outside the home for the first time in over 21 years.  Our kids were all older and busy, and I felt it was time to spread my wings a bit and get out in the world.  God lead me to a wonderful job as a caregiver for elderly people.  To say I loved my job just doesn't do it justice.  It was an honor and privilege to go into people's homes and become their friend and caregiver.  God blessed me with wonderful people who will be apart of me forever.  What a special time I have had.

At the first of this year, I felt God speaking to my heart about coming back home.  My heart is always at home.  I love being a Mom.  I love being home.  I love being outside of my home too, but my first love is home with my family.  God made me that way.  Before Lewis and I ever had children, we attended our first foster/adoption meeting.  I remember sitting in the meeting crying and feeling the Spirit of God all over me.  God put in my heart a desire for adoption that has never left me.

My husband and I started the process a few times, but never felt like it was the right time. Now, after all these years, we felt like the time was right.  We began the process.  Here is where the story just gets wild!  We serve a wild, creative God!   In the middle of the process to get licensed to be foster/adoption parents, I got a texted message.  This message was telling me about a young girl who was pregnant and seeking an abortion.  I asked if there was anything I could do to help.  The person messaging me did not think I could do anything, but nevertheless, I began to pray for this young girl and baby.

A month went by, and I heard that the girl did not get the abortion because she had found out at the clinic she was further along then she thought and would need to go to another clinic.   I again offered helped, and my husband and I prayed.  We prayed for this young girl and prayed for the baby.  My husband made a phone call to offer help, and we waited to hear. Nothing. We thought she had gone through with the abortion.  A few weeks later, we learned she had not.

One night we were out to dinner talking about this girl and baby and wondering if we should reach out one more time.  My husband told me that the next day he would make one more phone call to offer help.  That night when we went to bed, we prayed again for the baby and Mom.   The next day my husband texted me to tell me that the people involved wanted to meet with us~they contacted him before he even had a chance to contact them!  I was kind of blown away.  I knew God had brought us to this place.

So, we meet with them a few days later.  The girl asked us if we would take her baby.  Of course, we would.  God had put this precious young girl and baby in our life.  We were here for such a time as this!  God had put us right where we needed to be.  God did the impossible and is still doing the impossible.  God had been preparing my heart and home for this.  He had started speaking to me at the first of the year to come home and get ready to expand.  I knew He was getting ready to enlarge Lewis and I's  home, but I didn't know it would be like this.  He also has told me repeatedly the past few months to:  Believe, trust, and OBEY.  Obey was the big one.  I was being asked to step out into something beyond our strength and means.  I had to put action to my faith.   The wild thing is that when we do that,  God is right there!   He is bigger than any obstacle that we come up against.  I have to quiet the doubts and fears and believe He is able to do all that He says He can.   I had to not just be a "hearer" of His words but a "doer".  Step out of the boat and keep my eyes on Him.

So my husband and I are stepping out of the boat.  The baby is coming in June! Yes, June! We don't have much time.  We have lots of legal paperwork to do and a home to get ready.  I hate paperwork.  I'm not good at it, but I'm willing to dive in and come up strong in God.  Do we need anything? Yes, we need everything. Literally.  Do we need money for the adoption? Yes. I don't like asking for  money, but this isn't about me.  This is about this baby and what God is doing.  If you want to give, please let me know.  We have a paypal account where we can accept money.  Am I excited? Yes! Our my girls excited? Yes!

I was reading the other day about how when Caleb stood before the promise land (the second time after they had to wander around for 40 years) and said, "My companions who went with me discouraged the people, but I stuck to my guns, totally with God, my God.   Now look at me: God has kept me alive, as he promised. It is now 45 years since God spoke here to Moses, years in which Israel wandered in the wilderness. And here I am today, eighty-five years old! I'm as strong today as I was the day Moses sent me out. So give me this mountain!"  Wow, that's what I am praying.  That God keeps me strong.  Twenty-four years ago I cried in an adoption meeting.  Here I am today, not a young woman, but still having a heart for adoption.  God is good.

This will be a private adoption, not a foster/adoption.  I still have a heart for foster/adoption, and we hope in a year or two to continue on that road.  However, we are learning to take it one day at a time and trust God.

That's our story.  I'm so happy to share it with you!!!